new goggles!

i forgot to mention that yesterday fredrick took me to pick up my new glasses. they fit fine.. however, i'm unsure if they may need to still be adjusted because i'm not sure the bi-focals are in the correct position. it may just take some time getting used to having bi-focals, so i didn't say anything to the optometrist. it's not bothering me to the point that i have a headache or anything yet.. so i assume i probably just need to get used to the bi-focals.
there's not much to do here on thanksgiving.. so i'll probably just do my stretches and lift weights like usual. i get the feeling amanda thinks i don't do anything to stay fit just because she assumes i'm stupid because i have a traumatic brain injury- so i need courage kenny to tell me how to do things. she OBVIOUSLY doesn't REALLY care about me if she's so quick to underestimate me just to benefit her in-law who she definitely HASN'T known as long as she's known me but that doesn't seem to matter to her.. probably explains the lack of care for me. i'm OBVIOUSLY doing SOMETHING right if i haven't had to be hauled to a damn nursing home because i don't know how to take care of myself and i haven't developed any conditions or diseases like diabetes. i also have only had to go to the emergency room and have the ambulance take me there once while living at this apartment because of my blocked bowel (actually.. now that i think about it- one of the ics workers may have brought me because i remember telling them my side hurt and they didn't really hesitate to bring me straight to the emergency room).. so it's not like that was MY fault.. it's not like I held myself in front of my dad before he kicked at my mom SELFISHLY. and yes.. i DID look up the causes of a blocked bowel after i had surgery and google said that bowel obstructions are caused by trauma caused to the abdomen/bowel region.. *gasp* you mean like being KICKED when your mother narcissistically holds their infant daughter in front of their dad while he's kicking and beating on her, so he ends up kicking the infant in the ABDOMEN REGION (considering i WAS just sitting at my computer, not turning when i first felt the pain which resembled a baby kicking my abdomen and i hadn't had sex in probably at least 5 months when i felt this pain)?! yeah probably. i had to have a surgery on my bowel when it was PERFORRATED after he kicked me (because my mom was using ME as a shield to block his kicks) while my dad was angry and i assume drunk. the doctors asked my grandma if i had trauma on my stomach region and my grandma just said "no" condoning the shitty ass parenting of my parents. my mom won't be satisfied until she sees me as a vegetable, so there's absolutely no chance that i can do better than her and she gets attention from people assuming that she's "caring" because narcissists don't like seeing people close to them doing well in life. OH LOOK! ANOTHER reason why i need to be FAR away from her as possible- so her jealous ass doesn't cause me anymore pain! the only condition/disease i really need to keep my eye on is my osteoporosis because i really prefer NOT to drink milk- which is why i take TWO calcium supplements a day. so hopefully i'm not as bad as i could be. my grandma always used to express her concern about me "breaking a hip" during the winter when the previous caretaker of the shithole apartment i used to live in at burnsville would never salt or shovel the damn parking lot of the apartment. i don't weigh that much- so it'd just be a bunch of bones breaking if i were to fall. i got my dad's metabolism- so i can't gain weight for shit- literally, because it ALL ends up in the toilet. fredrick made ugali for me last night or the night before and that shit is supposed to make you fat from what i read and how i used to gain weight when i'd eat it, then i think i got sick when i had my last surgery on my bowel/intestines and i lost A LOT of weight when i got outta the hospital. i think and hope i'm slowly gaining it back now. i remember how my grandma tried to reassure me by saying, "oh stacy.. i don't think you'll EVER be fat in your whole life.." i kinda doubt it too, considering i have MY DAD's metabolism.. at least he gave me that.